Family and relationships
Simone de Beauvoir
Not born
Simone de Beauvoir (France · 1908–1986) — Not born.
What actually happened?
In 1929, aged twenty-one, Beauvoir sat the French agrégation in philosophy and came second, behind Sartre; she was the youngest person ever to pass it. Twenty years later she published The Second Sex. French newspapers attacked it, and in 1956 the Vatican put it on the Index of forbidden books. It has been read ever since, in dozens of languages.
Three small exhibits
She does not start from a conclusion. She starts with the smallest things and asks who decided them and for whom: a stack of plates, a doll, a marriage.
A parent says 'girls should be quiet'. Take it apart and ask who is asking what of whom.
The Other
Her central claim is that man is taken as the standard, as the human being, and woman is defined as his Other. That does not mean she is lesser; it means whoever defines first stands in the middle.
We say 'woman driver' and 'woman leader'; the same words for a man need no qualifier.
Situation, not nature
Her word is situation, not nature: what a person is like depends on where she has been put, and when the place changes, the person changes with it.
The same person is called 'caring' at home and 'too soft' at the office.
How do I use it today?
Pick one small thing you have always put down to 'that is just how I am' and write down when and by whom you were taught it. If you cannot, just notice whether it is a habit with a traceable origin.
Deep read
Read alongside
Further
Lines to keep
One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.
What looks most natural has often been taught longest.
Ask who decided it before asking whether it is right.