Lin Xiangru
The jade came home whole
Let the wrong end up on their side
Records of the Grand Historian, Lives of Lian Po and Lin Xiangru
You are fairly sure the other side will never pay. Do you hand it over or refuse? He argued for saying yes.
What actually happened?
The King of Qin wrote offering fifteen cities for Zhao's famous jade disc. Everyone at the Zhao court suspected a trick, but a flat refusal would give Qin its excuse for war. Lin Xiangru put it plainly: refuse, and Zhao is in the wrong; hand it over and get no cities, and Qin is. Better to agree and leave the wrong with Qin. In Qin's hall he watched the king pass the jade round his women and say nothing of cities. He took it back, claiming a flaw, and while the king fasted five days a servant in rough clothes carried it home by a back road.
Price the refusal first
Refuse, and Qin only has to say Zhao would not deal; the war has its pretext. Hand it over and receive nothing, and everyone watching sees Qin break its word. He was not fighting over a piece of jade. He was fighting over whose ledger the affair would end up in.
Turn down an offer you don't believe and you are the unreasonable one. Accept it with a delivery date, and the next move is theirs.
Agree, but keep it retrievable
What he promised his own king was not a gift: if the cities come, the jade stays in Qin; if not, it comes back whole. Delivery was made to wait on their performance. When the king showed no sign of paying, he took the jade back into his own hands.
Ship a sample and tie the final payment to acceptance, so they take the first real step while you still hold something you can pull back.
Turn their show into your time
The king had officials trace fifteen cities on a map. Lin judged it theatre and asked for five days of fasting and a full court ceremony before the handover. He did not spend those days negotiating. He spent them getting the jade home.
Pressed to sign a handsome letter of intent on the spot, ask for one reasonable procedural step, and use the days it buys to prepare your exit.
How do I use it today?
Where you are: someone stronger than you makes an offer you are fairly sure they will not honour.
Ask first: if I refuse, whose fault is it? If I agree, can I make their delivery the condition for mine?
Where it goes wrong: making 'put them in the wrong' the goal and leaving yourself nothing to take back; or facing someone who does not mind being seen in the wrong at all.
Lines to keep
If the cities come, the jade stays. If not, it comes home whole.
Twenty-odd rulers of Qin, and not one kept a firm agreement.
Same situation, other people are asking
I've stopped believing the promises.What I was promised falls through, over and over.The values are on the wall and nobody lives by them.He agreed this time. Will it hold next time?I don't believe what my boss says · all 6 questions →If this one named what you are going through,
send it to someone who needs it, or keep it somewhere you will find it again.