Shi Tiesheng
Death Is a Festival That Will Certainly Arrive
Nothing to hurry toward
Shi Tiesheng, The Temple of Earth and I, 1991
For people who lie awake until dawn thinking about dying. Why Shi Tiesheng called death a festival, and what that did for him.
What actually happened?
After several years in the park working on whether to die, the conclusion he arrived at is very calm: death is not a thing to hurry toward; death is a festival that is certain to arrive. Since it is coming anyway, there is no need to go and meet it. Once he had seen that through, he said, what is left is the question of how to live. The problem of dying had not been solved. It had been put back where it belongs: certain, therefore not to be thought about, and every day of being alive turns out to be his.
Certain is what makes it possible to put down
Most people who fear death are afraid of the uncertainty: when, and how. He fixed it as something settled that requires no management. It is coming; do not rush it. Once settled, the item comes off the daily list.
Saying out loud that it is certainly coming is lighter than turning over what if it comes.
Thinking it through once is not thinking about it always
He did not avoid the subject. He went at it seriously and followed it to the end. Having gone to the end, there is no need to return. The version that surfaces at three in the morning is the one that was never followed through.
The thought that keeps returning at night is usually the one you would not follow to the end in daylight.
Put death back and living has room
His conclusion is that what remains is the question of how to live. Two questions were competing for the same attention, and the one about dying produced no result while occupying the space. Put it back and the other one has a surface to lie on.
How to live cannot be worked on until whether to die has been cleared off the table.
How do I use it today?
Where you are: you lie awake thinking about dying and cannot say so to anyone in the daytime.
Ask first: have I ever sat down in daylight, clear-headed, and followed this all the way through? Can I say out loud that it is certainly coming?
Where it goes wrong: reading it as being above life and death. He was not above anything and fought illness for thirty-eight years. This is about putting death back where it belongs, not about ceasing to mind.
Lines to keep
It is certainly coming, so there is no need to hurry.
The thought that returns at night was never followed through by day.
How to live waits until whether to die leaves the table.
Same situation, other people are asking
There's less time left and I haven't done anything.Am I afraid of the thing, or of my version of it?I lie awake thinking about dying and say nothing in daylight.I've started being afraid of dying · all 3 questions →If this one named what you are going through,
send it to someone who needs it, or keep it somewhere you will find it again.