Strategies of the Warring States
Zou Ji at the mirror
Three people praise you, three motives
Strategies of the Warring States, Qi I
Wife, concubine and guest all said he was the handsomer man. This is about the three different things he heard in one answer.
What actually happened?
Zou Ji asked his wife whether he or Xu Gong of the northern city was the better looking. Far handsomer, she said. His concubine said Xu Gong was not his equal. The next day a guest said the same. Then Xu Gong came in person, and Zou Ji judged himself the lesser man. Lying awake he worked it out: my wife praises me because she favours me, my concubine because she fears me, my guest because he wants something. He told the king of Qi, then applied it to a kingdom of people who favour, fear or want. Seen this way, your majesty is very thoroughly screened.
One compliment, three different sources
Partiality, fear, want: three motives producing wording that is word for word identical, so the sentence itself cannot tell them apart. The only way to sort them is the structure of the relationship. What someone stands to gain from you decides what he says to you.
Your report says the plan is good, your supplier says the plan is good, your investor says the plan is good. Three reliabilities, one identical sentence.
The higher you sit, the fuller the set
Zou Ji's inference is the hard part. He had three people and the king had a kingdom. Every step up adds another cohort with a reason to praise you and removes people willing to say the hard thing. The screening grows with the position, with nobody deceiving anybody.
The more senior you get, the more positive the feedback, and the change has nothing to do with your standard. Reading it as progress is the usual mistake.
He calibrated against Xu Gong
He worked it out because Xu Gong actually turned up and gave him a reference point uncontaminated by any relationship. Without that external ruler, three people agreeing is the whole body of evidence. Breaking the screen is not a matter of reminding yourself to be humble. It is going and finding the comparison.
Do not ask the team whether the product is good. Look at a rival's real numbers, and at what users say when you are not in the room.
How do I use it today?
Where you are: your plan has come back with unanimous approval.
Ask first: for each person who praised it, what do they stand to gain or lose from me?
Where it goes wrong: treating unanimity as proof of quality; and never going to find one reference point that owes you nothing.
Lines to keep
My wife favours me, my concubine fears me, my guest wants something.
Seen this way, the king is very thoroughly screened.
Three people agreeing is not evidence. It is a relationship map.
Same situation, other people are asking
Every single person told me the plan is good. Is that evidence?Everyone says it's great · all 1 questions →If this one named what you are going through,
send it to someone who needs it, or keep it somewhere you will find it again.