Xu Xiake
Every Step a Fright
When every step feels hollow, take them one at a time
The Travel Diaries of Xu Xiake, Mount Huang diary
The road is long and every step feels hollow under your feet. How Xu Xiake came down through the snow on Mount Huang.
What actually happened?
In the second month of 1616 Xu Xiake climbed Mount Huang. On the seventh day he went down from Jieyin Cliff through deep snow, peaks rising and falling around him as he passed. Each step showed something new, but the ravines were deep and the snow thick, and every step was a fright. A dozen li further on, at Songgu Hermitage, a scent drifted along the stream: a plum tree in full flower. The mountain is cold, he wrote, the snow lingers, and only here does it bloom.
Fear and wonder in the same step
He wrote that every step brought a new marvel, and that every step was a fright. Fear was not a signal to stop; it was often the same thing as seeing something new.
Your first project on your own makes every decision nerve-racking. The nervous spots are usually where you learn fastest.
Slow, but not stopped
On that frightening path he still walked a dozen li down to the hermitage. The way to walk it was one firm step at a time, not waiting until he was no longer afraid.
After knee surgery you add two hundred steps a day. That slow still counts as forward.
Write down the plum tree
On a day of cold sweat he still recorded the flowering plum. Record only the dangers and the road grows more frightening; record what is blooming too, and you know it was not all fear.
In a hard week, write down one thing that went right each night, even if it was only lunch.
How do I use it today?
Where you are: the road is long and you test every step. Tiredness does not scare you; empty ground under your foot does.
Ask first: am I afraid of the road itself, or of walking it for the first time? Which step today can I plant firmly?
Where it goes wrong: treating every-step-a-fright as a reason to stop. Xu was afraid and still reached the hermitage; wait until you are unafraid and you never see the plum tree.
Lines to keep
The ravines deep, the snow thick: every step a fright.
The mountain is cold, the snow lingers; only here does it bloom.
Same situation, other people are asking
I ran every outcome and then couldn't move.I keep circling things I can't change.I've been in the mud so long I've started to look like it.There's a voice in my head and it only says cruel things.I overthink everything · all 6 questions →If this one named what you are going through,
send it to someone who needs it, or keep it somewhere you will find it again.