Raising Good Humans
Aliza Pressman on developmental-psychology parenting, principles traceable to developmental science
29:13Kids won't open up—not because you're not around, but because you're not approachable
Research shows whether kids confide in parents depends not on constant presence but on how you respond in low-pressure moments like drives and walks—calm reactions build trust; probing questions shut them down.
47:20Homework beyond two hours won't improve children's learning
Beyond two hours of homework, there's almost no additional learning benefit, yet sleep deprivation, late nights, and anxiety keep accumulating—and many high schoolers actually exceed this threshold.
47:02Don't Teach Your Kid How to Make Friends — Teach Them How to Be One
Two counselors find that the cure for a child's social anxiety isn't coaching them to win people over, but redirecting their attention away from themselves and toward the other kid — going first as the good friend.
38:40When Your Kids Fight, Be a Witness, Not a Judge
Fairness is not equality: give each child what they need, not the identical thing. A parent's job is not to rule on who is right, but to describe what happened and let them find the next step.
37:53A Daughter Blames Herself for Heartbreak, a Boy's Testosterone Jumps 50-Fold in Puberty
Estrogen and oxytocin bind girls deep; testosterone and dopamine turn boys toward the next target — the same heartbreak, two brains running completely different programs.
48:10To Raise a Gritty Kid, Change the Situation Before You Rely on Willpower
Most human behavior is reactive: a bigger plate means you eat more, a phone within reach means you pick it up. Situations pull on you like gravity, so the move is to choose which gravities pull on you, not to muscle through.
43:3817 Tracking Studies: The Pandemic Did Not Ruin a Generation of Children
Following the same children over time, academics stalled briefly and then rebounded — not permanent learning loss. The research does not support pinning today's attention problems on the pandemic.
29:41Before Your Teen's First Party, Agree on a Code Word and an Exit Plan
Research shows the earlier kids start drinking, the more likely they are to move toward heavy use — so "I drink, you drink, call me anytime" is the wrong move. The right one is a clear prohibition plus a zero-punishment code word and pickup plan.
46:02The cure for picky-eating anxiety: no judgment, no rewards, dessert is just another food
A child's relationship with food does not hinge on whether they ate any particular thing. It hinges on whether the parent sorts food into good and bad, whether dessert gets used as a reward, and whether the parent gives themselves permission to feed according to what the child actually needs. The earlier picky-eating signals are recognized, the easier they are to change.
55:22Don't Teach Your Kid Empathy — Show Them You're Listening
The key to teaching kids to disagree well isn't empathy or perspective-taking; it's proving with words that you're listening. The HEAR framework and the curiosity sandwich are usable right away.