Duke Wen of Jin
Longing and Ease
The place you least want to leave deserves the most suspicion
Zuo Commentary, Duke Xi, year 23
It's comfortable here, so comfortable it has started to worry you, and you can't say whether you should go. Why was it Chong'er's wife who sent him away?
What actually happened?
In exile in Qi, Chong'er was given a wife by Duke Huan and twenty teams of horses, and he settled in. His followers met under a mulberry tree to plan their departure. A slave girl picking leaves overheard and told his wife, Lady Jiang, who had her killed. Then she told Chong'er to go: longing and ease ruin a name. He refused. She and his uncle Zifan got him drunk and put him in a carriage. When he woke, he chased Zifan with a spear.
The place that gives enough is the hardest to leave
Qi had treated him well: a marriage and eighty horses, after years of being snubbed on the road. The more a place gives you, the more leaving looks unreasonable. Neither longing nor ease is bad in itself. The trouble is that they quietly start making the decision for you.
The job pays enough, asks little, the people are kind, and you haven't thought about where you meant to go in three years.
The first thing to go is the ambition
When his wife said he had ambitions in every direction, his first answer was that he had none. Comfort changes what you say before it changes what you do: 'I still mean to go back' becomes 'I never really wanted to'. Once you believe it yourself, you stay.
A friend asks about the thing you once said you would do, and you hear yourself say you never cared that much. Don't trust that sentence yet.
If you know you won't go, let someone push
He did not make up his own mind. His wife and Zifan made it for him, and he woke up furious. If you know you won't leave on your own, hand the decision to people you trust while you are still clear-headed.
Planning to quit for something of your own? Set a date with two friends who will ask you about it when it comes.
How do I use it today?
Where you are: somewhere comfortable enough that it has started to make you uneasy, and you can't tell whether to leave.
Ask first: Is the place I meant to go still there? When I say I never wanted it much, have I thought it through, or just stayed too long?
Where it goes wrong: Lady Jiang pushed him because she knew where he was going and that the road was real. If you have no such place, comfort is no crime. Don't leave just to escape it.
Lines to keep
Longing and ease ruin a name.
You have ambitions in all four directions. The one who overheard is dead.
The prince was content. His followers thought it wrong.
Same situation, other people are asking
Is switching tracks now too big a risk?Everyone's chasing the new thing. Do we have to?Two years in and I think it's the wrong thing.I know this is not it. Can I not just finish the year first?Do I change direction now · all 7 questions →If this one named what you are going through,
send it to someone who needs it, or keep it somewhere you will find it again.