懂了道理還是會吼孩子，她把同一個工作坊重複上了五遍

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原話 · 已逐字校驗

I was just so so angry! I feel this hot thing coming out from my gut here and Malaya started crying because she felt that energy, and I felt very guilty about that.

我當時真的非常非常生氣！一股滾燙的東西從胃裡冒上來，Malaya 感受到了那股情緒，嚇哭了，我為此感到非常內疚。

Iris11:30

out of the blue Malaya asked me, “Mama, why are you always angry?” And the way she asked was really significant to me because she asked out of curiosity.

Malaya 突然沒頭沒腦地問我：「媽媽，你為什麼總是生氣？」她問的方式對我來說意義重大，因為她是出於好奇才問的。

Iris11:30

I like to think of my four or five times in the workshop, as I like to imagine myself as like a horse trainer. And the process of taming my own trigger is the wild doors. And so the first few times were just about me getting into the saddle.

我把自己這四五次參加工作坊想像成一個馴馬師，馴服自己觸發點的過程就像馴服一匹野馬，前幾次只是學著坐進馬鞍而已。

Iris14:46

you said something about, like, touch the surface of the kitchen counter, not me, but the computer was on the kitchen counter. The smoothness just brought me back and so that sort of halted the runaway train.

你當時讓我去摸廚房檯面——不是摸我自己，是摸放在臺面上的電腦。那種光滑的觸感把我拉了回來，也攔住了那列失控的情緒列車。

Iris22:07

I muted my zoom thing, I just left out this like, very primal scream that came from here, and I was just like, it felt good.

我把 Zoom 靜音了，然後發出了一聲非常原始的尖叫，那種感覺——就是感覺很好。

Iris22:07

Mama, I don't think that teachers will do that because first of all, that's mean. And second, were children. And I don't think they will replace me.

「媽媽，我覺得老師不會這樣做，首先這樣很刻薄，其次我們是小孩，我不覺得他們會把我換掉。」

Iris36:38

if we think about it, is it really respect? Isn't it more fear? It's not really respect that we're feeling when our parent is trying to coerce us into doing something because that's the only tool that they have, right?

如果仔細想想，那真的是尊重嗎？會不會其實是恐懼？當父母只能靠逼迫孩子做事時，我們感受到的根本不是尊重，因為那就是他們手裡僅有的工具。

Jen Lumanlan38:41

I think of the taming your triggers workshop as you are not giving a formula. I wish there was some kind of magic formula. But of course, it would probably be easier and you will be a millionaire. What I was getting was not a formula, but more of a recipe, and a recipe for cooking.

我覺得「馴服觸發點」工作坊給的不是一個公式。我倒希望有某種魔法公式，那樣會更簡單，你也會靠它發財。我拿到的不是公式，而更像是一份食譜，一份烹飪的食譜。

Iris46:51

數字與實體

術語

window of tolerance耐受窗口

情緒調節的安全區間，飢餓疲憊會讓它變窄，一點刺激就情緒失控。

non-cognitive shift非認知轉變

發生在身體層面的改變，區別於讀懂道理的認知層面理解。

ACE童年不良經歷量表

用於評估童年創傷程度的問卷打分。

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