Good ayis are always on assignment: what a domestic-help consultant really sells isn't information
Domestic help is a supply-led industry: good ayis never reach the open market, and the hard part of a consultant's job isn't closing the deal but handling replacements after the sale; both employers and ayis are just conduits for a paycheck.
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Good ayis are always on assignment
This market has a circulation paradox: ayis with good reviews never reach the open market. She works for one family for two or three years, and the moment she leaves she's referred straight to the next one. The ones actually circulating on the market are usually the ones nobody is satisfied with after looking around. So the industry's core contradiction is supply — where good ayis come from and how they get discovered. A domestic-help company is essentially more like a human resources company: it has to recruit, train and then match.
— YitingEvery woman in domestic help has a story
The ayi profile clusters in third- and fourth-tier cities and even poor villages, aged 30 to 45, many divorced or single. Live-in sisters spend little time with their own families, giving their time to another family instead. Two obvious traits mark their choice of this line: they like children, and they want to earn money — not a comfortable life farming and drinking tea back home, but packing up everything they own, buying a green-skin train ticket and squeezing into Shanghai.
— YitingThis time you're the boss
There has to be a sense of boundaries and tact between ayi and employer, and not just on the ayi's side — on the employer's side too. Some people spoil the ayi past the line, but everyone takes a mile when given an inch. More delicate still: a live-in ayi is together with the family 24 hours a day, and may know more about the household's private life than relatives do — that's a lot of pressure. Some moms are doing widow-style parenting with the dad absent, and it's the ayi who ends up keeping the mom company longer, the two of them becoming teammates.
— YitingEmployers and ayis are both conduits for a paycheck
To the employer she looks like a conduit for a paycheck, and it's the same for the ayi: the monthly WeChat transfer comes in, and immediately two kids' tuition goes out, then the household living expenses, transferred straight away. For many yuesao and yuer sao, their income is the most important or even the only source for the family, which is why her role as wife within the family structure is a strong one. That also explains why employers care about the ayi's family background — you're not hiring a company employee, and her stability is directly tied to her family situation.
— YitingHow ten pages of job requirements don't scare the ayi off
The longest yuesao job requirement I've seen ran a full ten pages, at a price that was only the market average. The employer thinks that if every minute is spelled out, the ayi will execute like a robot, but people are emotional. The consultant won't forward it directly; instead she starts with a voice message to lay the groundwork: asking about luggage, giving directions, telling her the client says just arrive at this time, then explaining that company rules require the employer to list requirements, and that she can come to me anytime with questions. That way the ayi feels she's been handed a guidebook rather than being interrogated.
— YitingClosing the deal is easy; replacing someone is the test
Yuesao jobs are booked in advance, while yuer sao jobs are mostly urgent — an ayi only enters the market once she leaves her previous family, so demand is pressing. Many employers assume that whoever is available urgently must be bad, but often it's the one who was booked in advance who turns out to be the fake. Closing isn't hard for a consultant: as long as the employer has a need and a budget, someone can always be found. What's genuinely hard is the long-term after-sales — you can be thrilled during the interview and there's still a certain probability of cooling off afterwards, and replacing someone is the real test of a consultant's skill.
— YitingThe hardest case requires reading the family's core relationship
The hardest case: a single-mother female executive who wanted a daytime child development companion, but also wanted that person to do housework to a cleaner's standard — while the companion's hourly rate is twice a cleaner's. The consultant dealt with the assistant, and the core need was also shaped by the executive's own mother. The compromise was cleaners for cleaning and companions for companionship, but the mother still had to be won over. The person finally found was the polar opposite of the original spec — originally under 35 with a bilingual kindergarten teaching background, in the end a sister approaching 50 with an education background and live-in experience.
— YitingYuesao start at 15,000; yuer sao depend on age
In first-tier cities a yuesao's 26-day contract price is generally 15,000 to 16,000 or more; for someone with two or three years' experience who has genuinely cared for newborns, it's basically 15,000 to 20,000. Shanghai rates for yuer sao: beginners from 7,000, experienced hands depending on age, skills and work history basically 8,000-plus; stack on English, bilingual, early education or driving and it's 10,000-plus. Prices have risen in recent years partly because more highly educated people are entering the work, and partly because supply still falls short of demand.
— YitingConsensus and industry norms are what this line lacks most
The live-in norm is that the ayi brings her own personal items and the employer provides the big items like bedding, but the two sides of the employment relationship haven't formed a consensus on it yet. Some think it's lovely that an ayi who's been there a long time feels attached and spends her own wages buying things for the baby; others think it's too close. A common situation is a mother who's unhappy that the child is too attached to the ayi. Consultant training teaches this: the person in a family who should have the closest contact is the mom — not the dad, and not the grandparents.
— YitingYoung people going into domestic help is long past being a meme
By the time something becomes a meme, the number of people doing it is already beyond what you'd imagine. The contraction of the tutoring industry fed a lot of talent into domestic help; child development companions are very young, a cohort in their twenties, because jobs are hard to find and this line provides room and board and responsibility for just one child. After five to eight years of live-in experience, yuying shi and yuesao get older and can't keep up with the kids, so they shift toward trainer roles. But whether you do yuying shi or child development companion, it's very hard to build a three-to-five-year career plan.
— YitingIn their own words · checked verbatim
For the employer it's like being a conduit for a paycheck, and for a lot of ayis it's really the same.
对于雇主层面来说 像是工资的搬运工一样 对于很多阿姨来说 其实也是一样的
Host37:24
Because an ayi is a person. A person isn't a machine. A person is in a state where they'll have emotions.
因为阿姨是人 人不是机器 人他就是一个会有情绪的状态
Yiting41:09
Closing the deal isn't a hard thing for us — we can always help the employer find someone they're satisfied with, as long as they have a need, right, and a budget. But the hard part usually comes later.
签单对我们来说并不是一件难事 我们总是能帮雇主找到他满意的这个人选的 只要他有需求 对吧 有预算 但是其实往往难的在后面
Yiting49:47
I think right now neither side of the employment relationship has really formed that consensus, hasn't yet accumulated to the point of understanding roughly what state this industry is in.
我觉得现在就是雇佣双方都还没有很形成这个共识 还没有积累到一个就是这行大概是个什么样状态的这个过程
Yiting1:12:23
By the time something has already become a meme, the number of people doing it is already beyond what you'd imagine.
当一件事已经变成一个梗的时候 其实他做的人已经超乎你的想象了
Yiting1:39:42
Figures
| Yuesao 26-day contract price in first-tier cities | 15,000 to 16,000 or more; 15,000 to 20,000 with two or three years' experience | 1:03:36 |
| Shanghai rates for yuer sao | Beginners from 7,000; experienced hands 8,000-plus; 10,000-plus with stacked requirements | 1:03:36 |
| Ayi profile age | Around 30 to 45 | 19:37 |
| Longest yuesao job requirement seen | Ten pages | 41:09 |
| Yuesao service periods | 26 days, 42 days, 52 days or 70-plus days | 50:27 |
| Share of clients from referrals | Around 50% | 1:29:53 |
| Career span of a domestic-help consultant | Many last a bit over half a year | 1:27:51 |
| Handover period between yuesao and yuer sao | Three to five days | 50:27 |
Glossary
- chemistry
- The feeling between employer and ayi of hitting it off, like a blind date — it can't be trained.
- Fei dan (飞单)
- Employer or ayi cutting the consultant out and closing the deal privately; very common in the industry.
- Booked jobs and urgent jobs (预约单和急单)
- Yuesao are booked months ahead around the due date; yuer sao are mostly hired urgently because they only enter the market after leaving a family.
- Child development companion (儿童成长陪伴师)
- A family-tutor role that has become popular in recent years, mostly serving international-school students from primary to secondary level.
How to listen
Dual-income families hiring or about to hire a yuesao or yuer sao, and founders and investors watching domestic help and local life services.
From 1:35:37, the part about interviewing a picture book with a twins family is more story than substance; fast-forward.